Date safety guide

Before, during, after. This is the checklist First Date's own check-in flow is built around. The same guide ships inside the app and works with no signal.

Before you go

• Tell one person who you're meeting, where, and when you expect to be done. First Date's check-in does this by pre-filling the message for you.
• Meet somewhere public with staff present. A bar, a cafe, a gallery — anywhere with people who work there.
• Arrange your own transport there and back. Don't be dependent on them for how you leave.
• Do a quick search on the name and photos you've been given. A profile that appears nowhere else is worth a second thought.
• Take a screenshot of their profile before you go. If they delete it later, you still have it.
• Decide in advance what time you're leaving. A soft deadline is much easier to hold than an open evening.

While you're there

• Keep your drink with you, including to the bathroom. Order it yourself and watch it poured where you can.
• Pace the alcohol below what you'd drink around people you already trust.
• Trust the flicker. Feeling off is enough of a reason — you don't owe anyone an explanation for leaving.
• Use the fake call if you want a clean exit. It's in the date screen and needs no signal.
• Keep your home address, workplace, and full name for later. There's no cost to waiting a date or two.
• If you're not comfortable, tell a staff member. Venue staff handle this constantly and will help you leave.

Getting home

• Confirm your check-in when you're home so your contact isn't left guessing.
• Don't get into a car you can't verify. Check the plate against the app before you open the door.
• If they follow you or won't let the evening end, go back inside the venue rather than home.
• Write the reflection while it's fresh. Tomorrow's version of the evening is always a smoothed-over one.
• Block without explaining if you need to. You are not obliged to close the loop politely.

Patterns worth logging

• Pressure to move off the dating app fast, or to a platform where there's no record.
• Refusing a video call before meeting while being fluent about everything else.
• Any money conversation — an emergency, an investment, a favour. This is the single most common script in dating fraud.
• Details that shift between conversations: job, city, age, whether they have kids.
• Irritation when you set a boundary, even a small one. How someone handles a "no" early is the most predictive thing you'll see.
• Pushing to meet at their home, or to change the venue at the last minute to somewhere private.